My Cocaine (like) Addiction

When I wake up in the morning it's the first thing I want. If I'm out, it's all I can think of. My mind frantically races with plans to get my hands on some.

I get twitchy.

I get irritable. 

My head aches when I can't get any, or enough. Other variations of the drug work, but none is as sweet or tastes as scrumptious.

My Diet Dew. My cocaine. My caffeine of choice. My terrible, wonderful habit.

I'm not sure when it happened, but I am utterly and hopelessly addicted to this deliciously deceptive drink. Although my favorite is a fountain Dew, ice cold cans and 20 oz. bottles can work great. If I'm in a pinch I'll drink from a 2 liter. 

Embarrassingly, in moments of weakness, I'll even admit to drinking out of a can or a 2 litter that has set out on the kitchen counter, my desk, or in my car consul for a few days. 

I used to tell myself that I can quit when I want, and somehow I did during all three of my pregnancies. I've even successfully given it up for Lent a few times. 

But lately I've stopped kidding myself. I can't quit. I have completely given myself to Diet Mtn. Dew. 

My kids tell me soda pop is bad for me and I am often afraid I am setting a bad example for them. My husband, although he contributes to supplying my habit, despises it and has himself quit drinking the stuff a long time ago. Sometimes I can't sleep when I drink too much of it; I know that the caffeine is keeping me up. I feel kinda trashy carrying around a 32 ounce QT Dew around campus when my colleagues grip their Starbucks coffee creations tightly in their hands. 

It's sad, I'll admit, but none of these reasons are convincing enough. I always keep coming back for more.

I tell myself that my busy life of working full time, carrying for my family, finding time to run, are all important reasons for why I need caffeine to keep me going strong.

And I will continue to tell myself that.

So, cheers, and if ever need to buy me a gift, a case of Diet Dew would be just perfect.