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Thursday, February 4, 2016

Why It's (Not) Always My Fault


It's my fault he had no clothes on.

"Gross. I don't like hot dogs. This is your fault."

"My shoe came untied and I fell down. This is your fault, mom!"

"I stubbed my toe and it hurts! This is your fault!"

Sound familiar? I sure hope so, or my kids are secretly trying to drive me insane. From the weather being too cold, to them not being able to find their other sock, everything that goes wrong in my children's lives is apparently my fault.

But see, the truth is that it isn't.

Well... I mean, sometimes I might purposefully put green beans on the plate of a child that doesn't want them there or I may occasionally hide the iPad chargers when I have had enough of them playing on technology... Usually though, it really isn't my fault.

Even though they say it is- on a daily basis.

At first it used to make me mad and I would defend myself to the accusing child why the said occurrence was not my fault. I quickly learned that it was like talking to a wall. As time continued on and the blame became more ridiculous I started to realize that there really was nothing I could say. Their minds were set.

I mean, honestly, deep down inside don't they realize that the fact that their nose is running really couldn't be my fault? Or that kids are simply required to ride in car seats- they have to see this, right? Truly this honestly can't be their mom or dad's fault?

This whole mindset probably started when my kids were very young. If they were hungry, they cried and I fed them a bottle. I immediately appeased a need they had. If they were cold, they whined and I swaddled them. This continued on and on as they grew older and as they experience unhappiness, pain, or anger it must be my fault if I can't always or immediately alleviate it.

I am wondering when this wears off. Maybe it never does. I still blame my own mom and dad for gifting me with the genetics that made me short. But that really is their fault.

It would be nice if this particular joy of parenting were to fade and my children would begin to be more rational in shifting the blame, but I am not foreseeing this anytime soon,

I can only imagine what will be my fault when they are teenagers.

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