I have no idea why, but even before I had children I used to have these vivid dreams of blonde little toddler boys running through the front door. It's strange but I was just always very certain I'd have two sons.
And my premonitions were correct- God blessed me with two amazing little boys. And yes they are both very blonde.
What I didn't envision was that I'd have a daughter too.
I know it sounds crazy, but I never truly believed that I would have one. I remember very clearly the day when I found out that she was in fact a she. We were at *the appointment* when parents have an ultrasound and can find out what the sex of their baby is. I recall being very certain it was a boy; the pregnancy had felt identical to my first pregnancy before I gave birth the my first son.
I would have put money on it.
Well it is a good thing I didn't because when the technician told us that I was pregnant with a girl, I almost fell off my chair. What?!?! I was truly shocked and for some reason, I just felt throughout the remainder of my pregnancy that the tech had to be wrong. I had always pictured those two little boys in my life plan. What was I going to do with a girl?
Of course, anything can happen with pregnancy so I'm not sure why I was so set on only having boys.
So when my girl was born, I ran with it. Big bows and huge flowers strapped to her head. Pink tutus, frilly dresses, polka dot leggings and those adorable little socks that look like ballet slippers overflowed her drawers. She had tiny Toms, furry boots, and Stride Rite shoes galore. Even her itty bitty little tennis shoes (ya know the ones that aren't even used for walking because, well, babies can't walk?) had to be the newest Pumas or of Nike brand.
I have to gush- the girl dressed better than me.
But then she got older.
My baby girl became a toddler girl. A toddler that I learned very quickly had her very own personality. And as she became a child and was no longer a toddler, that personality flourished. She is really an amazing little girl now, but not the little girl I expected. She is not the fashion conscious, dainty little lady I thought that all little girls had to be; that all little girls were.
The little girl that I once was.
My little girl is tough. She is brave. She boldly makes her own decisions. She knows what she likes. She knows what she does not like. She is not impressionable. She is determined.
She is athletic, she has an incredible memory (which isn't always good!), is a natural leader, but yet has the kindest heart I have ever seen.
What no one ever told me about having a daughter is that she wouldn't be exactly like me.
Sometimes I get a little jealous when I see other mothers with their carbon copy miniatures and I wonder how fun it must be to have a daughter that wants to wear sparkly shoes and trendy boutique outfits. A girl that wants to get pedicures and have her hair done.
I was very girly and feminine as a child, and loved to look pretty and really had to push myself to do anything that I thought might hurt (like catching a ball or riding a bike!). My daughter plays in the mud, picks up bugs, tackles her brothers when they make her mad, and she schools the neighborhood boys in all things sport.
We have an agreement that if I get to dress her for preschool (although I still try to choose things that I know she doesn't hate completely) then she gets to choose what she wears after school or on days when we aren't leaving the house.
It's inevitable and no longer novel when she chooses her brothers' clothes, jerseys and jeans, baseball pants or spider man masks. I don't even argue with her anymore.
As my little girl turns 5 years old this week I've found myself wondering what she is going be like some day. Although I'll admit that at first I had no idea what to do with this opinionated, athletic wonder of a daughter, I now am really excited to see what she does with her life.
She is truly the most amazing little girl I could have ever asked God for.
I love her unpredictable spirit and adorable uniqueness.
And you know what? It's kind of fun not knowing what she is going to walk out of her room wearing.